Wake up and smell the sweat!

Khaali train or daydreaming?

We wish for so many things in a day. And Mumbai local train commuters have some common wishes every single day:
"I wish I catch the 8.20 local."
"I wish I get a window seat."
"I wish no one pushes me today."
"I wish I get a comfortable place to stand."
"I wish the vendor who sells accessories boards my compartment today."
"I wish I get an empty train." Well, this mostly falls under the daydreaming category ;)

Some of us doze off in trains while our heads plays pendulum on the shoulders of aaju-baaju waale log! And then we get lost in our dreams or imaginations while we are half asleep. A train waiting for us at the platform so that we get in easily... choice of window seats, operational fans without kachra, great leg space, head space, shoulder space... no chillam chilli... no dhakka mukki... no paseene ki badboo... and then the train comes to a sudden halt! The aunty whose shoulder acted as our perfumed pillow gets off and someone who forgot wearing the deodorant or talcum powder chipkofies to us! We wake up to the smell of the sweat!

Or on a super lucky day, we actually get an empty train!That happened with me today!

So, what are your daily wishes when it comes to travelling by local trains? Do you get to board an empty train without dhakka-mukki? Do you get the window seat? Do you wake up before the train reaches your station?

Do share your experiences here. Let's see when it comes to wishes related to Mumbai local trains, are we on the same platform!

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Summer Special Tips for Local Train Travel

How to beat the summer heat while travelling by trains:

Tip 1: Carry a bottle of water to manage the dehydration caused by the scorching heat + crowded train combo

Tip 2: Lookout for ladies selling oranges in the trains. Fairly cheap,safe (because of the peel) and effective (contributed by our site visitor Suranga Date)

Tip 3: Tie up your hair, you will feel and look cool in summers

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The 4th Seat Rules

4th Seat might be a non-existent term in the first class gents compartments of Mumbai local trains. However, in the general and ladies compartments the fourth seat means a lot. Also, there are quite some unspoken, unofficial rules and fundas surrounding the famed fourth seat. Let me take you through the list:

1 - It is the fourth seat occupant who sits sideways / occupies the least seat space. If two places are already occupied and you and a 'competition' aim for those, there's a simple rule. You can't occupy the 4th seat completely leaving negligible bum space for the third seat occupant. Firstly, it leaves three people sitting uncomfortably. Secondly, it results in blocking the standee space between two benches.

2 - The fourth seat occupant has to struggle a lot as people walk through the gangway. The knees are brushed and the feet can be stamped with many heels. If you are wearing a saree, God bless you coz the saree pleats can be spoiled.

3 - The fourth seat occupant gets the least ventilation in a crowded train.

4 - The fourth seat occupant can be subjected to holding the cardboard boxes when vendors selling accessories carry out their business in the trains.

5 - When window seat, second / third seat commuter gets up, it's the 'right' of fourth seatwaala to slide inside leaving the fourth seat vacant.

No one's going to penalize you if you do not follow these unofficial rules, but unless you want to invite nasty looks and arguments and unnecessary kichkich, you rather treat this as a guide when you travel by a Mumbai local train.

PS Nothing's official about all these points. It's just and attempt to make your commute peaceful and jhagdaafree!

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Autobiography of a Window Seat

As soon as the Mumbai local train pulls into the station, you see people rushing towards me. They are just crazy about me... after all, I am the much sought-after Window Seat! Neighbour's envy, owner's pride eh!

There are umpteen reasons for their love for me. 

1. I bring them fresh air in the crowded atmosphere where all that the rest of the commuters get to smell are sweaty armpits, oily stinky hair and the peculiar odour of the local train doors and handles.
2. I present them with panoramic views of the entire city in a mater of few minutes! Tell me who else can do this except for You Tube? 
3. I offer them the priority status as well! People first tend to ask the window-seater as to where he/she will alight so that they can 'book' the seat.
4. I offer them an effortless glimpse of the station name boards; unlike others who have to either stretch their necks or ask the privileged traveller, "Kaunsa station aaya?". (Of course, the announcements are taking over gradually)

I love Mumbai's local train commuters. Even though I know they can be very biased.

They run for me and fight for me only when I face the direction of the train's movement. If I am on the opposite direction, I am only treated as a compromise. They also prefer the side of the train where sunlight doesn't fall. I am not the Hot Seat when the seat is hot!

Some of them simply ignore me during winters and rains. They push away from me as much as possible... how rude! This is the time when people willingly 'offer' Window Seat to others. Here's a small  Survey conducted on the Facebook page of this blog about the same:

Do you aim for the Window Seat even in winters?

• No... But that's what I run for in summers!
• Yes... I love to chill in the chilly weather!
• Seat... What Seat? If I get to stand on my feet, it's enough!

Well, I can understand. However, I hate the fact that often they treat me as garbage-exit point. They shamelessly throw wrappers, spit paan/gutkha and discard other kachra from the window while occupying me. If only I could throw them away from me and the entire train!

Well guys, looks like it's time for me to go as aglaa station Churchgate hai! Keep looking out for me... I am loving it!

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Agar rickshawalle motormen bann gaye toh...

Meaning: If auto rickshaw drivers became motormen of Mumbai local trains.

Meri Marzi!!!

• You want to go to Goregaon from Churchgate. But they will refuse to go citing it's a short distance. They have higher (or rather longer) aims... at least Nallasopara. 

• You punch a valid Rs 10 coupon for your destination. But they refuse to let you board the train. They say, "At least pay half return fare since no one boards the train for the reverse direction."

• It's raining cats and dogs and tigers. You try to reach your destination Kharghar asap. 17 trains pass Kurla station, none halts. Why? Well, they just don't feel like ferrying you. For them, it's the best opportunity and way to harass the bechaara public.

•  832 people are standing to board a train from platform number 1 of Wadala station. But only one is allowed to board the train. Why? Sharing nahi chalega!!!

• You board a train from Churchgate to Bandra. These are the stations you see -  Charni Road, Grant Road, Sandhurst Road, Dockyard Road, Raey Road, Currey Road, Wadala Road, Elphinston Road and Matunga Road. Why? Road pe ghuma raha hai... ab extra fare bharo!!!

Disclaimer: Not all Mumbai rickshaw drivers are rude / inconsiderate / mean. But quite a few are.
At 10 pm tonight, I had to stand by the road during heavy rains, without any umbrella / wind cheater / shelter, when no rickshaw driver agreed to ferry me to my house 15 mins away. One even asked for a fixed higher illogical fare. I stood there helpless, furious and desperate while as always the auto rickshaw drivers ruled the roads. Not that this happened for the first time, but I had to write... eventually.

Thank God for the train services. Hope no such rickshawallah ever becomes a motorman.

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Train Etiquette - Part 1

What do you do when people push you even while getting in an uncrowded train and there's quite some gap between the platform and footboard?

Dhakka-mukki has become a trend... ab toh aadat si hai sabko dhakka maarne ki...
People are so used to rushing into crowded trains that sometimes even when the train is blissfully uncrowded, people tend to push others. This unnecessary haste has often led to people slipping onto the tracks and losing their limbs. So what do you do when something like this happens?

1. Ignore them and manage your balance
2. Give them some peace of mind and manage your balance
3. Let them move ahead
4. Other (pls specify in comments)

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Beginners' Guide to Travelling in Mumbai Local Trains

Guest post by Blessen Varghese a.k.a. 'Mallu Mumbaikar':

1. Travel as light as possible with little or no luggage. If you do have a luggage, then make sure you also have your name on it or else some stranger might come to the happy realization that his great grandfather’s uncle’s brother-in-law had lost a similar bag/suitcase in 1936 and stake his claim over it.
2. Avoid peak hours, which would be, let me see… ahem… almost throughout the day! Basically, avoid traveling!
3. Make sure you are not allergic to the combination of sweet ‘aroma’ of oil, fish and sweat! If you are, constant traveling will make you get used to the same.

4. If you are a first-class traveler, then be sure to apologize for accidentally pushing or stepping on someone. If you are traveling by second-class, then be street smart and blame the ‘accident’ or ‘incident’ on the person standing behind you. Before doing this, make sure there IS a person standing behind you or else, you will be in big trouble.
5. Amongst all the good qualities that a Mumbaikar possesses, politeness is NOT one of them. So, if someone is hell bent on picking up an argument with you, be polite and remain as quiet as possible. Your attitude will surprise him. The guy that is picking up the argument might just have had a fight with his wife at home and may be removing it all on you!
6. If your station is just five stops away from the starting point, then don’t be dumb in trying to find a seat, for if you do, you may never be able to get off even after the tenth stop. Remain standing, and do so closer to the door that you will be getting off from! If you do not know which side your platform falls, then ask your co-passengers. But make sure the person you ask is not a mirror image of you yourself. You might just end up either on a wrong station or on the tracks, the latter being not a very exciting prospect!
7. If you are going to be a regular traveler, catching the same train and hoping onto the same compartment will help you make new friends. These guys will stand by you whenever there is an argument.
- As posted in Blessen Varghese's blog. 

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Common lies you hear in Mumbai local trains

Mumbai local trains have created many liars... but what to do, the trains are so crowded and add to the daily stress. Here's a list of the common lies we get to hear. Do add to the list here in the comments section or post on Twitter with #trainlies #mumbai-localtrains.com

 1. “Oh Madam, zyaada smart nahi banneka. Mere pass FIRST class pass hai isliye iss compartment mein hoon. But I won’t show it to you. Jo karne ka hai karo!” (By some commuters who travel 1st class without valid pass.)

2. “Mujhe next station pe utarney ka hai isliye door pe khada hoon, mujhe koi shauk nahi hai idhar hawa khaaneka!” (By some commuters who travel in footboard of super-crowded trains only to get some air... don’t be fooled, they are not getting off until the last station!)

3. “Arre mera ticket mere husband ke pass hai, par woh gents’ compartment mein hai...” (by ladies who travel ticketless, however 50% times it’s genuine!)

4. “She pushed me.” (By the one who pushes you ahead and blames on someone else who blames someone else...)

5. “I am at Khar only, will reach Bandra in 5 minutes.” (By a commuter who just boarded the train from Andheri and whose friends are waiting for him at Bandra for 30 mins.)

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Hands Up Cops!

Policewaala hai toh kuch bhi karega kya?

Not anymore! Or at least this is what it seems like with the arrest of five cops by Dadar GRP in the last week of May.

Three policemen who extorted Rs 8000 money from an IIT Bombay student for allegedly storing pornographic clips on his mobile phone were arrested on May 31, 2011. If you are unaware of the incident, well this student was on his way back home after a vacation when the cops at Dadar station threatened to arrest him for storing such videos on his phone. The student had to hand over the money to save himself at that time!

Cops travelling in coach reserved for physically challenged arrested

In another incident, two policemen attached to Nagpada police station were arrested by the RPF at Dadar. Now these two travelled ticket-less in a coach reserved for physically challenged in a Kalyan fast train. How disgusting!

While such behaviour by cops infuriates me, I am glad that Government Railway Police is being strict with wrongdoers, be it an aam aadmi or a policewaala.

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Grant Road taken for granted as train misses station!

Gone are the days when Mumbai commuters used to miss their train. Trains are missing stations now!

On Tuesday, May 24 2011, a 12-coach Virar fast train from Churchgate almost skipped Grant Road station. Now as always in such cases, there are several versions of the story. While some say that the train stopped after two coaches left the platform, others claim that as many as seven coaches missed the station.

Motormen have been complaing about stress for long and we even read the story about sun glare in their cabins obstructing the view. While commuters woes include things like getting late for work to chances of getting injured if someone jumps off the train.

But the, here's a lighter side to the local trains skipping stations:
Next time you are late to work, instead of giving an excuse that the train was late, you can simply say that the train never came!!!

Info source: TOI

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TV in trains post featured in DNA

I couldn't have asked for more today! Yesterday, the Facebook page of Mumbai Local Trains touched the 100 likes mark and today DNA featured one of the recent articles on the site!

I can't thank Sudakshina enough to inform me about this early in the morning. While my fever topped with ankle sprain brought a definite frown on my face in the morning, her call converted it into a smile! And it gave me the strength to write about all this (alright, brag ;))

So, DNA has shared the entire post TV in Mumbai local trains! What about Video-Coaches? on page 6 of May 23, 2011. And this time, they have given the link of this site unlike the previous time when they accredited a story to a site from where they got the feed :)

Thank you readers for staying aboard! Look forward to more updates, timetables and opinions related to Mumbai local trains on this site.

Similar stories: 
My interview at MetroTwin website!

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Safar ya suffer?

Guest post by Eknath Makne:

My ex-colleague-friend Anuradha Khanna-Pentapalli invited bloggers to share theri memorable incidents on train. Until three years ago, two incidents in which I had close shave with death, remained unforgettable ones. With steep rise in number of commuters on local trains in recent history, daily journeys to workplace have been offering slow deaths in installments. Hence, the two instances are no more memorable ones...

Shashi Tharoor's tweet of Air India services being cattle class may have found many takers. But if you ask a daily local train commuter, whose on board agonies just refuse to die, the former Union Minister's platitude appears to be sheer buffoonery of the air carrier. Thanks to 'surplus congestion' inside a local train due to soaring populace, adjectives like arduous, tiresome, painstaking, etc. have started falling short while describing journeys on board these days. Every passing moment adds to bad memories of life, while time spent on old (or is it ancient?) narrow bridges connecting one platform to another makes us think if there would be any 'stampede' during peak hours.

Measures taken by railways like introducing 15-car trains or increasing the number of 12-car ones, have proven to be futile exercises. As the revenue increases, benefits of the same are not seen being passed on to commuters in the form of developed infrastructure.

For instance, if old narrow bridges have turned into death traps during rush hours, are we not going to usher in wider ones or is it we want somebody to die in stampedes just to underline the seriousness of the issue?

Many of us may have seen flicks in which wife of a police official says, “subah jab maang mein sindur bharti hoon toh pata nahin hota ki vapas laut aayenge ya nahin”. Why should our lives resemble that of a jaanbaaz sipahi while everyone here wants to sing “yunhi kat jayega safar saath...?”

Roots of all these worries lie in rising population, something the railways can not curb. But within their limits, the authorities should look for long-run solutions in lieu of patting their own back for taking half measures. With rail budget around the corner, lets hope Mamata di 'chugs' out 'on-track' measures responding to our not-so-mishti litany...

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An Ode to Mumbai Local Trains

Here's an article by one of us, a Mumbai local train traveller Madhusmita Sahoo:

I hate travelling by the Bombay local trains. Yes, get that sneer of your faces, 'Bombay' used because that's how I like it . 

If being tall, thin and ungainly aren't bad enough, I also had to be a middle-class chick who has to travel by suburban trains that resemble miniatures of Nazi’s torture cells. 

To begin with, I can see the top of everyone's head. Another way to put that is: every now and then someone buries her pate in my face. Lice, dandruff and cheap hair oil are just a few things that I have resigned to have my face scrubbed with. The only worse thing I can think of is being a shortie. In which case, you are forced to bury your face in somebody's armpit.

I seldom get my clothes ironed. Because...Click here to continue reading - An Ode to Mumbai Local trains

PS Thanks Madhusmita for letting me share your article

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